Yeah, I'm a Yankee, there's just no getting around that fact.
I'm also a damn good mimic so after 4 days here in small-town South Carolina (where, incidentally, it's hotter than Hades during the annual pig roast) I'm tryin' really hard not to
sound like a local.
B'leev me y'all, it's Hard. It's hard.
I'm decompressing from the last week of adventures. I finally got a reasonable job offer from the company that I'd been negotiating with at 11:00 on Friday. I gave my notice at 11:05 at my my curent job. I was a little anxious as I had an Estimated Time of Departure of 12:00 for my two week vacation.
I expected my current boss to kind of freak out. She didn't. I don't know if that's just because she was having a "grown-up moment" (we don't have many of those) or if the truth is that she and I just never really got along so she's not that disappointed. (I won't be kicked around) Course she did have the wherewithall to say "Too bad, you were good." Note the past tense.
So, we left Chicago at 2:00 p.m. on Friday afternoon and promptly spent 2 hours and 30 minutes trying to get what would normally have taken about 1 hour. DH was fit to be tied. We then spent the next 11 hours driving straight through to West Union, SC. Yep. Deep. South.
We tried to stop in Knoxville around 2:00 a.m. to get some sleep but the only places that had any room were Roach Motels. On we drove. At 5:30 a.m. local time we pulled into my in-laws driveway.
My in-laws are nice people, but I gotta say, the rules of engagement here are vastly different than those with which I am familiar.
Here is a brief list of "Things I Have Learned" during our brief stay:
1. Jesus is Our Saviour. (My 4 year old niece, the Southern Baptist, told me so at least 5 or 6 times)
2. When you go to a Southern Baptist Church for the Christening of your newest nephew, it is not good for your Catholic husband to join in the Hymn at the "Crucified, Bled and Died" part in his best Monty Python voice. It causes even the most strident guest to melt into a fit of giggles despite all attempts to be respectful of others' faith.
2. If you are asked a question, don't expect anyone to wait or care for the answer.
3. Do not under any circumstances, think that the locals want to know anything about your damned yankee ways.
4. You can say anything about anyone, if you follow it up with "Bless Her Heart". To wit: "She's a nasty little whore, Bless Her Heart. "
5. Keep your head low and your opinions quiet if you happen to be of the Democratic bent, believe that women should have the right to choose or that same sex couples should be allowed to join in a legally binding union. (Those are the only subjects that have come up thus far. God I love vacation).
Oh yeah, and we're sleeping in a full size bed. My 6" husband and myself. Oof. Is it time to go home yet?
Did I mention ticks and fleas? Yeah, I haven't stepped foot in the grass yet.
Tomorrow we're on to Charleston, SC where we can, at least, be tourists and not expected to behave like a southerner. Or like my Husband's parents, New York transplants to West Union, SC.
Sign me,
A Fish Out of Water
